NOW SHOWING: MY LIFE |
Not your ordinary life story...featured is the life of a girl (I'm yet to be convinced before I call myself a woman...), who is, after a long time of searching, has finally found her peace in God's presence... see her as she go fulfill the Lord's plans in her life.. join her in her adventures, drama and even comedy moments.. all in the name of discovering her purpose...
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today iam...
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previous posts |
the hole in my heart
a song from a weary heart
Hear me now
a letter for alex
how i miss blogging
keeping my silence
big girl na ko, i should know what to do
from an overflowing heart
very much thankful
once again i've found myself crying
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in spotlight: Farewell Waltz (Milan Kundera)
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Sincerity requires self-knowledge. You cannot be sincere because you didn't know what there is within you.
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just a thought
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Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility.
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maystar * designs
Wednesday, September 22, 2004 |
its just nice to feel God's comfort in the most inconvenient times of life. I am really grateful for the Lord has been using different people to bless me and even those I barely know for encouragement..
Hold me Lord, hold me
And I'll never go astray
Let Your glory now fill me
To melt my sins away
I do stand in awe
In great awe of You
My spirit is singing of praise
Let me lift my hands
Together with my heart
And worship You all the way
# posted by joSlyn @ 2:58 PM
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Monday, September 20, 2004 |
once again i've found myself crying
Oh, I miss him. I really do. And I've just allowed myself to be consumed by my great longing for him last night. So I cried. I cried till I've emptied myself of that loneliness. It has been five months though. And I'm still here waiting...
Yes, I was again feeling the pain. What a very emotional evening it has been. I was in my room resting when thoughts of him came as if a raging storm. It engulfed me. The whole of me.
I decided to text him though it seemed impossible for that message to reach him. But it's okay. I just wanted to unburden myself. To release my emotions before it could take complete hold of my being...
God, I know you'll help me to get over this..
# posted by joSlyn @ 9:09 AM
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Friday, September 17, 2004 |
Now what?! I can't concentrate with my work. Good thing, I've finished all the required reports last Wednesday. Does this mean that I have the right to be lazy today?? Hmmm.. so much to justify my katamaran.
Can't seem to find the right motivations .. or maybe because of the weather.. o kaya dahil Biyernes ngayon.. or could just be resignation jitters..
Yes, I'll be resigning soon. (I'll tell you the details later. Consider it as a personal testimony on how God provided me with a new job!)
but now, let me just say that I'm beginning to feel like a stranger here already....
normal ba yun???
# posted by joSlyn @ 1:03 PM
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yes Lord, I do hear
the voice of You telling me that I must not quit
to stand firm in Your words
Oh God give me the strength that I will be needing
I count on You
I trust in You, Lord
I count on You
And Your mighty power
So now I move on
And I shall conquer
For I am more than victorious Lord
For You are with me
Now and forever
# posted by joSlyn @ 11:09 AM
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Thursday, September 16, 2004 |
an inventory of spiritual gifts
As each has received a gift, employ it for one another (or serve it up to one another) as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who utters oracles of God; whoever renders service, as one who renders it by the strength which God supplies; in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ... (1 Peter 4:10-11)
*********** results of my spiritual gifts inventory:
Dominant gifts are Showing Mercy, Pastor/Shepherd
The Greek word "ellco" means to feel sympathy with or for others. As a mercy-shower you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by identifying with and comforting those who are in distress. You understand and comfort your fellow Christian. You enter into the grief or happiness of others and have the ability to show empathy which is to feel WITH others, not just for others.
As a mercy-shower you are willing to deal with and minister to people who have needs that most people feel very uncomfortable working with. You seem to say the right thing at the right time. Your personality is likely one of soft-spoken love. It hurts you to scold someone; you are very non-condemning. People love you because of all the love you give them. You find it easy to express yourself and are outgoing with a low-key, inoffensive personality. You are easy to talk to, responsive to people, a good listener, peaceable, and agreeable. You tend to make decisions based on feelings more than fact and like to think about things for a while before making a decision.
In your burden to comfort others, your heart goes out to the poor, the aged, the ill, the underprivileged, and so on. You tend to attract people who are hurting or rejoicing because you identify with them. Be careful not to let others use you. Try not to resent others who are not as understanding as you. Refrain from becoming a gossiper when you are around other mercy-showers. Do not let your circumstances control you. Because of your supernatural ability to show mercy, others accuse you of taking up for people, being a softy and a compromiser. They may think you are too emotional.
Mercy-showers make excellent counselors. However, left untrained, you may destroy yourself by your tendency to take people's problems home with you. Your empathy can become detrimental without personal training on how to deal with it.
Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He can cause pride because of your ability to relate to others. He may influence you to disregard rules and authority. You may experience a lack of discipline because of strong feeling for those who hurt due to disobedience and sin. Don't fall into Satan's trap of complaining and griping.
Second dominant gift is PASTORING/SHEPHERDING
The Greek word "poimen" means pastor. In Paul's spiritual gifts listing in Ephesians 4:11, this term is translated "pastor." Although the word "poimen" is translated pastor only one time in Scripture it is used sixteen additional times. The remaining sixteen are all translated "shepherd." Therefore, we are actually discussing the GIFT of shepherding, not the POSITION of pastor. Though a good pastor must have the gift of shepherding, everyone who has the gift of shepherding is not called to be pastor. The gift can be used in many positions in a church.
As a gifted shepherd, you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by overseeing, training, and caring for the needs of a group of Christians. You are usually very patient, people-centered, and willing to spend time in prayer for others. You tend to be a "Jack of All and Master of ONE," meaning you are usually dominant in one of the speaking gifts (evangelist, prophet, teacher, exhorter) as well. You are often authoritative, more a leader than a follower, and expressive, composed, and sensitive. Your pleasing personality draws people to you.
You have a burden to see others learn and grow and are protective of those under your care. You want to present the whole Word of God and do not like to present the same materials more than once. You are willing to study what is necessary to feed your group and are more relationship oriented than task oriented. You are a peace-maker and diplomat - very tolerant of people's weaknesses. You tend to remember people's names and faces. You are more concerned with doing for others than others doing for you. You are faithful and devoted and may become a workaholic. You can become an all-purpose person in order to meet needs.
People with the gift of shepherding make the best Sunday school teachers and group leaders because their desire is to go beyond just teaching or leading, to shepherd and minister to the daily needs of their students. The position of Sunday school teacher or group leader is an extension of the pastoral ministry in the church. These groups should be shepherded on a small scale the same as the pastor shepherds the whole congregation on a large scale.
Be careful to involve other people; don't try to do it all yourself. Work on making people accountable. Do not be overly protective of your "flock." Because of these potentially weak areas, other people may think it is your job to do all the work; they rely too heavily on you. You may be expected to be available at all times, know all the answers, and be at every function. Learn when to say no.
Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He will cause discouragement when the load gets heavy, and pride because your "sheep" look up to you. You may develop family problems because of too little time and attention. You may become selfish when "sheep" feed in other pastures.
visit this site for your own spiritual gifts analysis:
http://www.churchgrowth.org/cgi-cg/gifts.cgi
# posted by joSlyn @ 11:09 AM
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Tuesday, September 14, 2004 |
just can't get enough of You Lord
can't get enough of You
Your mercy is new every morning
That sustains me all day through
Haven't really seen the whole of you
Only a part of it I know
But everyday is a new day
In discovering your greatness
# posted by joSlyn @ 1:53 PM
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the personality test had spoken..
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what a busy tuesday!! still have to finish my monthly reports. gladly, our supervisor went to a conference. Di nya ko masisita!!!
anyway, can't stay for long. lunchbreak kaya pwede pang mag-blog. try nyo rin ang quiz na to, wala lang, just for fun..
# posted by joSlyn @ 1:34 PM
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Thursday, September 09, 2004 |
films, books...
i was never a film buff, never a booklover... but now I can't imagine my life without these two. The cinema house and contemporary novels are but newfound sanctuaries to me. What I love are books and movies that stimulate me to contemplate on life and to assess my being human... those who can leave me with a feeling of hunger and yearning, a craving for deeper awareness and a never contented spirit that wishes to unfold the bits and pieces of "me".
not just talks but conversations...
i really love to engage in conversations that are edifying. and my favorite topics are about life and faith.. and obviously, discussing about these two matters always end up in long hours of sharing. but the great thing is, such talks are always wrapped up by a feeling of comfort and rejuvenation.
songs that are only for God...
i consider it God's gift to be able to come up with songs of praises and worship for Him. This is despite the fact that I play not a single musical instrument and really know nothing about music.. Everything has always been provided by the Lord, the lyrics and the melody. And I know in His perfect time, God will give me the right person to help me put the chords into those songs...
Wonderful God
You have made me change my ways and gave me light
You have given me salvation, an eternal life
And now I'm humbling down myself before Your throne
Lifting your name above the heavens
Chorus:
Cause as I gaze upon your holiness, Oh Jesus
I begin to see the wonders of Your works
As I gaze upon Your holiness, oh Lord
Then my heart overflows with adoration
Cause as I gaze upon Your holiness
Oh Jesus, Lord my savior
I begin to praise You lord
Worship and honor You, Jesus
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. - Psalm 139:14
To God be all the glory!!!!!
# posted by joSlyn @ 9:25 AM
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Tuesday, September 07, 2004 |
Everyone longs himself to give to someone
To have a deep relationship with another
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively
But God says 'NO!'
Not until you are contented and satisfied with living,
Loved by me alone and giving yourself totally to me,
To have an intense and deep relationship with me is
The first step to your plan.
I love you my child and until you discover
That only me is your satisfaction to be found
You will not be capable of the perfect
Relationship that I have planned for you
Until you are not united with someone
Exclusively of any desires and longings
I want you to stop planning,
Stop wishing and allow me to bring it to you.
Just keep on listening
Expecting the greatest things
Keep learning and doing the things
That I have told you, you must wait!
Don't be anxious and don't worry
Don't look at the things you think you want
Just keep on looking up to me
Or you'll miss what I have for you
I am working at this minute to have both of
You ready, and then when you are ready and
Until the one that I have for you is ready,
I'll surprise you with the love more wonderful
Than any of you ever dream, you will experience
And this is the PERFECT LOVE
And Dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love
I want you to see a picture of your relationship with me
And enjoy completely the everlasting union of
Beauty, Perfection, and Love that I offer to you.
I love you my child
I am GOD Almighty
Believe me and be satisfied.
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Oh, this is something... enlightening indeed! I really can't have it my way. That's why I'm surrendering it all to God. I know that my only options are either to struggle or to wait patiently. And I'm absolutely choosing the second one...
# posted by joSlyn @ 5:12 PM
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Monday, September 06, 2004 |
Ilang araw rin akong naghintay para makapagsulat uli dito sa blog ko, pero hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin akong maisip. Pauwi na lang ako, wala pa rin akong mabuo..
Hmmm. ano ba?
Nakakatuwa... parang ang dami-dami kong gustong sabihin, pero di ko lang talaga maintindihan kung bakit di ako makapagsimula.
Ganun lang talaga siguro.
Tama, abnormal nga ako ngayon.
Pero ito na siguro ang pinakamasarap na abnormalidad na naranasan ko.
(Naku, baka isipin ng makakabasa nito, nababaliw na ako...)
Hindi po, siguro nagkataon lang na nababalot ako ng kakaibang pakiramdam ngayon.
Parang nakalutang... mapayapang nakalutang..
Masaya.. nakararanas ng ibang kasiyahang tagos hanggang langit.. Ramdam mismo ng kaibuturan ng aking pagkatao.
Malaya.. kalayaan mula sa tanikala ng kalungkutan at ng realidad ng buhay..
Ano bang meron?
Di ko alam kung papaano ko ipapaliwanag..
Para akong muling ipinanganganak.. na may bagong pagtingin sa buhay, sa sarili at sa mundo..
Na may baong kagalakan na hindi nagmula sa labas kundi nanggaling sa pinakapusod ng aking pagkakalikha.
At ito yung punto na nagsusumigaw ang puso ko para magpasalamat sa Dakilang Lumikha.. Salamat sa buhay..Salamat sa pagkakataon. Salamat sa kaligtasan..Salamat sa buhay na walang hanggan...
At higit na salamat dahil natagpuan kong muli ang aking sarili sa Inyong kanlungan..
Tama, yun nga ang pakiramdam...
# posted by joSlyn @ 5:51 PM
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In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
Romans 8:26NIV
# posted by joSlyn @ 5:37 PM
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Friday, September 03, 2004 |
A.k.O
Nananabik akong makilala ang katauhang nasa loob ng katawang ito
Nais ko syang maintindihan
Maunawaan ang bawat dahilan ng kanyang reklamo at panghihinawa
Nais kong matunton ang lalim ng kanyang pagkakalikha
Maintindihan ang kanyang bawat pagtangis, pagtawa
Mahinuha kung bakit kadalasan kinakailangan nyang ikubli ang kanyang tunay na nararamdaman
Nais ko syang damayan
At higit sa lahat...
Maging kaibigan sa kanya
# posted by joSlyn @ 8:34 AM
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Thursday, September 02, 2004 |
don't have anything to say. just wanna visit my blog, though. I'm excited to finally share this page to my friends as I'm about to email them my blog address... hmmm? am just curious on their initial reactions! Also wanna read their comments to my entries.. But more importantly, I want them to at least have an idea of what I have become...
cool isn't it?
# posted by joSlyn @ 2:28 PM
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Wednesday, September 01, 2004 |
listen, my heart is speaking
I need no word to express myself To explain what I'm going through I know you can see my heart, Oh Lord And feel my very pain
Nothing is ever hidden from You You know the depths of my being You know the condition of my spirit You can see the whole of me
And so I refuse to give up I try not to give in Though around me seems like a dead end I know there'll be a way
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All I can give You Lord is my burdened heart
All I can offer is my tired spirit
What I can give is just my broken soul
But still You've accepted them all
You're not asking me to be worthy
Coz its Your mercy that will make me clean
You don't care if I'm not deserving
Coz Your love is enough to embrace me wholly
Oh God, You just love me..
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i was left with no word to aptly describe Your greatness God. thank you for loving me inspite of my weaknesses.
thank you for being a father, a friend and a lover to my soul
i love you...
# posted by joSlyn @ 2:53 PM
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