of desperation and choice

You just have to bounce back..you simply have to.

Living today's world could be a trying ordeal. It is never too easy to remain optimistic when our society seems so bleak and dreary. The economic slump, chaos and political disparity among many other things, are just too much. Let alone handling things that a teenager goes through altogether.That's why it is not surprising to find so many people, including teens, going wayward and ending up lost in desperation. Some even taking extreme measures of cutting their lives short.

Everyone is faced with different sets of challenges. Everyone feels the pain and hardship. We only experienced them at varying degrees and different severities. They are all valid. But they are never reasons enough for us to fail to look for those silver threads that line our dark and heavy clouds. They are never reasons for us to give up the fight; to stop living.

Easy for me to say huh? If you think that I have lived my 24 years in a bed of roses, then you thought wrong. I had more than my fair share of midnight. And I, too, attempted to take that "desperate measure". But I lived to write. And for that alone I am grateful.

I would at least have a glimpse, an insight on what goes on in the head of one who would want to stop his breath and sleep for eternity at will. Again, it's not because I am assumptive, but because I have once entertained similar ideas...

Apparently, not everyone gets to snap out of it. The feelings of helplessness could be as addicting as morphine. It creeps in and eats you up unknowingly, ever so slowly like a cancer. That is if you let it!.There is one strong thought I have kept playing in my head for years now. And it has kept me going. That thought is that "I HAVE A CHOICE." And so do you.

You could choose to be helpless or you could choose to help yourself and eventually help others to help you.
You could choose to be a victim or a survivor.
You could choose to live life and see its beauty despite the many events that obscures the scenic view.
You could choose to respect pain and knowledge and then choose again to move on.
Or you could choose to allow in depression, rot and be consumed by emotional and spiritual maggots. You could choose to accept the things that happen; choose to let go and look ahead to a brighter tomorrow.
Or you could choose to droop your head and let your spirit plummet onto doom.

And if you are in despair, you could choose to snap out of it. you could make that choice right this very moment. If you think you are too weak to make that choice, then that is your choice. But you also have a choice to change your mind. It all begins with one thought. A single thought, a single choice could create a myriad of difference.

More often than not, the negativity that surrounds us, influences us to shun the amazing occurrences in our lives. There is no small or big part in the great big drama called "life." We are all students in this big school we call universe; we are all learning. and should difficulty arise, dropping out is never the solution.All that we need is all that we are. Everything that we longed and searched for have always been a part us, our truest selves.

Perhaps, you'd say that this is rubbish and that you are too young to understand. Then at least, know that you are never too young to appreciate. Rekindle the emotions of marvel and awe you had when you were a child so innocent. The joy that you felt when you first experienced the beach's sands beneath your feet; the sensation of your first scoop of ice cream, your spine tingling first kiss perhaps?

Hold those thoughts for a few moments more. Then let me leave you these questions for you to ponder upon: Aren't they the best that life offers for free if not for a minimal fee? Aren't they enough reasons for you to keep your head up and face each challenge with knowledge that you'd survive? Are you not the fastest and ablest among those millions of other sperms which vied to fertilize the ovum? Does taking your life really make you a winner? Or the loser?

Again, your answers are coupled with choices. And your life is too precious to waste. So choose wisely. I made my choice....so what's yours?

by: blair agero, Diaries (from Manila Bulletin)